Shark Attack 3: Megalodon drags for over 70 minutes but survives by how positively stupid it is. But nothing really compares to the utter hilarity of those final 20 minutes. To put it into perspective I almost threw up laughing it, it caught me off guard with its stupidity that much.
The third instalment in this popular and iconic shark movie franchise in the vein of The Meg. Starring Doctor Who and Torchwood favourite John Barrowman. From the executive producers of Rambo: Last Blood and The Mechanic. A unique proposition for the market with all the shark action you could hope for.
The opening of the film, I assume is meant to play like Jurassic Park, where something devastating happens to trigger everything. But it comes off so poorly that there is almost no need for it. Just throw it somewhere else into the film and see if anyone notices.
There are some wonderful things in Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, the very first incomprehensible thing that is not even shark related is the fact the captain is deep in the levels of a boat with a cigar and continually taking it out of his mouth. The thing isn’t even lit, so he just loves to have a something in his mouth for the giggles.
Though this is nothing in comparison to the utterly horrible ADR work that they have used here. How much of the original audio recording was this unusable that they went with this and never tried to correct it? The dialogue I can get, but when we have characters who are open mouth laughing and the audio betrays that to ridiculous extents. Tremendous.
The small issues or faults within Shark Attack 3: Megalodon are actually kind of exceptional. Instances such as Barrowman taking a picture of the shark tooth around 2 inches around from the digital camera, to then have it scan perfectly without a background immediately onto the computer. Also, our scientists begin to record the shark, yet for some unknown reason the cameraman needs to go two feet forward onto a small plank just off the boat to record the shark. He most certainly could have filmed it from a safer place, yet drama I guess. It beggars believe really, but somehow adds to the daft charm of the film.
Did you want even Jaws level of shark attacks? Well tough luck, we seemingly have 1980/90’s recording of sharks and other animal attacks from the ocean. It almost appears as if they forgot to record something, anything of an attack to fill out the scenes and just bought the cheapest clips to use. I don’t hate it, but the video quality differences are too stark for words.
It is hard to think of anything in Shark Attack 3: Megalodon that works to make it a good movie. Almost all of it is just utter trash that you can only imagine the main reason to watch it is for a late night group party or if you wanted an unintentional comedy. Scenes such as the shark marauding towards the resort and the beach and nearby water needing to be evacuated should be an intensely packed scene. Yet, with such a small budget, the camera only shows us everyone within 30 feet of the beach and somehow it takes those 15 characters an utter age to make it clear.
Just after that the shark takes its fury (I suppose) out on a boat with someone using a glider attached to it. The shark attacks the boat, but leaves someone alive. The person is obviously not in great peril, but it has dragged the woman who is still in the air out deeper into the ocean. They ACTUALLY STOP TO CHECK THE GUY! Instead of trying to chase after the woman to save her. Totally and utterly illogical that this would happen. But that kind of describes the film to a tee.
This is a film is perfect as a drinking game or any party game if you are not drinking inclined. Do something every time you see a brazen copy of Jaws or any shark film that has come out since. There are a lot… For the most enjoyment, watch this with as many people as possible, be it people already in your home or via a Zoom chat. This requires an audience setting.
Signature Entertainment presents Shark Attack 3 on Digital and Amazon Prime Video now
★ 1/2
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