An abysmally dull affair, Robin Hood: The Rebellion never does anything of note other than frustrating its audience with some terrible action & meaningless dialogue. A shambolic film that should be avoided for your own sanity.
After Maid Marian (Marie Everett) is kidnapped by the Sheriff of Nottingham (James Oliver Wheatley), Robin Hood (Ben Freeman) must get a band of men together to save her. Many are reluctant, given that they are massively outnumbered by the Sheriff’s forces, but those who join Robin will stop at nothing to defeat the bloodthirsty tyrant. Together, they hatch an audacious plan to penetrate the depths of the Sheriff’s castle and reclaim Robin’s, true love.
Let’s just get this out of the way. This is an utterly terrible film, without a doubt unless we venture to watch some B-movies on YouTube, you simply will not see anything as bad as this supposed film.
When Robin Hood: The Rebellion focuses on the drama side of things, it actually works surprisingly well enough for what it is; only when the film decides to take in those action moments that it falls a little apart. An example of this is in the opening fight scenes where Thomas informs Robin that Nottingham’s men are on their way; Robin asks how many, and then there is an immediate cut to someone behind Thomas charging at Robin. It is as if a moment of watching the men lurk through the forest was removed. It looks woefully cheap; this is shown more immediately after Maid Marian fights to stop being captured by two men. One just stands at the riverside and watches his companion and Marion hold their sword poses, with one having the bluntest, the plastic-looking sword you have ever seen.
This is surprising as so much of the film looks like it is a shame that those small moments distract you. Sadly this happens all too often in the action scenes. These scenes can only be described as lazy at best. Then we the possibly the best and worst moment in the film. When Robin is being held by his throat against a wall in the dungeons, he is lifted high into the air, high enough to suddenly have the brick wall that he was in front of disappearing to a lovely night sky, and suddenly he is let go plummeting downwards.
There is no comprehension of how these characters got from the dungeons, which are usually at the bottom of a castle, to the top of a tower in a split second. This is terrible for a film, given anything over a film school budget. How was this allowed, and how on Earth did he survive the fall from THE TOP OF A CASTLE!? Nothing makes sense, and it really seems like the film was either cut out of order, or there are simply scenes that they forgot to include; either way, this is unforgivable.
The less said about the cardboard acting, the better, with some actual good actors here. No one seems to care, and when the villains just continually threaten to slit people’s throats and try to bulge their eyes out wide to look crazy and menacing, then you know you are in a bit of trouble. This shambles of a film has a cast that is just along for the ride. Yet at least they all appear to be wearing slippers as not a sinner can be heart walking around a castle; echoes don’t exist in this world. By the way, if you watch this, can someone please inform as to why Nottingham decides to do that movement with his tongue after killing someone in the final act? Answers greatly welcomed on a postcard.
If there is one thing and truth, it is the only thing worth commending the film for it is how well lit the movie was and how that helped make some striking shots. Otherwise? There really isn’t anything of note to talk about that is positive here in Robin Hood: The Rebellion. The direction is as standard as they come, with some uninspired choices that just breeds laziness.
Worst of all, for all of the complaints that you can have about a film like this, it’s just plain dull. Now, this isn’t the place that will judge a movie for a limited budget. But when characters just go off on random monologues about nothing in particular for 5 minutes to help flesh out the running time, then you just know there is an issue.
Robin Hood: The Rebellion needed to go smaller with its scope considering its budget, but it decides to go big, and it is one hell of a swing and a miss. It should be a small piece and threatened to go that direction with the angst amongst the Merry Men. We instead go for a standard romp that would struggle to be worth your time even if you wanted to watch it for a bad movie night.
There is no pleasure in giving a film such a low rating, in fact it actually hurts to do so. This is a film that deserves the one star, truly deserves it. To give it two stars would be a disgrace to the two star films already rated.
Signature Entertainment presents Robin Hood: The Rebellion on Amazon Prime Video now.
★
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