Before I Do is a compelling debut from filmmaker Gitika Buttoo that tells a refreshing tale about sexuality and freedom in women from a South Asian background. The story evolves the discussion about tradition in a confident and naunced manner.

On the morning of her wedding day, Mona (Nisha Emich), a non-monogamous British-Indian woman, questions her rushed marriage and reflects on a period of self-discovery from her past.

Before I Do takes us on a journey rarely depicted see in South Asian culture and, by doing so, propels itself to be a strong voice for those who made that brave leap in sharing their sexuality. The strength of the film is that writer Afshan D’Souza-Lodhi and director Gitika Buttoo move beyond just finding acceptance in queer culture for South Asians and instead advance the conversation by showcasing the complexities of queerness to a broader audience.

Instead of following the expected narrative of a South Asian woman conforming to tradition by marrying a man, D’Souza-Lodhi and Buttoo seek to elevate the discussion. They skip the typical coming-out portion of Mona’s story and present her family’s acceptance, particularly that of her mother Simran. For far too long, films, especially those centered on South Asians, have gotten stuck in the formative first act of sexual identity stories. Here, we find ourselves firmly in the second act, experiencing something much more complex with Mona’s predicament.

Superbly played by Nisha Emich, Mona is a woman who loves to be free to love who she wants to love and to experience her sexuality however she sees fit. However, there is a problem, and it’s in the shape of Sam, someone Mona has fallen head over heels in love with. So, instead, we see how those doubts and internal tensions about marriage versus staying true to who Mona believes she is have risen right at the worst time – on the morning of her wedding. It’s fascinating and well done because of the film is length.

So D’Souza-Lodhi and Buttoo give us this basis, and now they bring in more to strengthen the story. Mona’s mother, Simran, is accepting but still traditional. If Mona is a lesbian, then fine, but she can still get married, for she sees being married as the happiest someone can be, so why wouldn’t she want that for her daughter? It’s these layers within Before I Do that make it so strong that we are being given a story that isn’t afraid to throw the questions back at the audience. What would we do in Mona’s shoes? Do we, like Simran says, swallow those doubts and just shake them off, or do we do the opposite? The literal only negative to Before I So is that you, with Buttoo, give us more of this story; we are so riveted by what happens next that you just wish you had more time with these characters in this interesting story.

With D’Souza’s-Lodhi’s smart script and Buttoo’s confident hand behind the camera, we are able to see what possibilities these topics have in the future of cinema, and it’s damn exciting.

★★★★

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